Tonight, for the first time in a very long time I’m not
worried. Not about my home life anyway. I’ve been trying to figure out what in
the hell I did with my life before I had a kid. I can barely remember me before
I had a child. I mean, I know that I enjoyed my life and I was always doing something. At this particular moment I’m
having a hard time remembering how I filled my time.
I know I partied…but I didn’t really hang out like that
during the week…or did I? I traveled, but those trips were always spaced out.
Aside from the occasional dinner or drinks with friends, I’m lost. Did I spend
that much time in Target?
Sure, I had more time to read and cook foods that were
experimental…but what else was there?! My work schedule hasn’t changed that
much. Sure, the load is a lot heavier these days, but sheesh.
Have I fallen so deep into parenthood that I have removed
all traces of my former self? Maybe. I’m sitting here in my bed (alone, since
Boogie decided to spend the night with her auntie), eating my Oreo McFlurry…kind
of bored. I picked up my purse and my iPad and my dad said, “Where are you
going? Are you running away too?” And I just kind of blinked. I have nowhere to
go. No one to call and say “Hey, let’s hang.” My life is lame! I’m not OK with
it!
I’m almost 32…something has got to change. I’m like a young old
lady. And I have the old lady night gowns to prove it… So, as my birthday
approaches, merely a month away, I’m making a vow to myself. You guys are my
witnesses. A vow to get back to some form of the sassy young woman I think I
remember being! To find some people to connect with…any other mommies out there
need a grown up play date?! I’m so serious. How did this become my life?
I love my kid with everything I have in me. Maybe it’s time
to take a pinch of that back for myself. Does this happen to all parents? Or is
it just me? Where do I begin? How do I get some spunk back? I guess the first
step is actually taking a first step. Doing something other than just coming
home every day and putting on my jammies and hitting the sack before 10pm.
Maybe Pinterest has the answer. I’ll check and let you guys
know lol.
Thanks for listening!
RoJo
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